Growing in Faith

There are certain phases of life that are more difficult than others. One of those phases is affecting several of my friends at the moment: Adult children who seem to have wandered away from their faith in God. This brings about a pivotal moment in a parent’s life, when we realize that our convincing arguments must become fervent prayers. “For our stuggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:12 (This chapter goes on to tell us that we must pray at all times.)

As Christians, we all want our children to have a deeply-rooted relationship with God, but we don’t want them to have to experience pain in the process. I totally relate to this, as I am as protective as any mother, but how realistic is it, really? Don’t we all have to come to the end of ourselves before we truly learn to trust God? In my own life, it was my failure and inability to “be perfect” that brought me to the realization that I was in desperate need of a Savior. If we live under the delusion that we are somehow good enough to please God, we are deceiving ourselves. (“If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.” I John 1:10)

I realize that these truths may not make it any easier to cope with the fact that your child is making bad choices. But we must be absolutely convinced that God loves our children even more than we do. He wants to have a relationship with them. We must saturate our minds with the promises of His faithfulness. This is our only hope for peace in the midst of our circumstances. “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

Some of us might lay claim to Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.” But what if we feel like we made too many mistakes as a parent and we are somehow responsible for our child’s deviation from the “straight and narrow”? Once again, we must remind ourselves that God is bigger than our failures. (And our children’s failures as well.) Many years ago, I heard James Dobson say, “There is no such thing as a perfect parent. For that matter, Adam and Eve had the perfect parent and look what happened to them!” (This is paraphrased, since it was over 30 years ago when I heard it.) Perhaps that helps you breathe a sigh of relief?

Ironically, I think that spending time trying to figure out what we did wrong, sometimes keeps us from doing what is right at the moment. We need to stop looking back at our past mistakes and start looking upward to a God who is powerful and trustworthy. Trust Him with your child and wait patiently for the miraculous changes that He wants to bring about in their life! He wants to grow their faith, just as He’s growing yours.

^“They (the righteous) will have no fear of bad news;
Their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear;
In the end they will look in triumph on their foes.” Psalm 112:7-8

“Denial” or Forgiveness?

I just received a scathing e-mail from someone (not the first bitter diatribe from this person), lamblasting my family and saying that we are all in “denial.” I think that he’s confusing denial with walking in forgiveness. If we choose to walk in forgiveness, we are able to move forward knowing that God loves all men with the same passion and sent His Son as a sacrifice for each of us. (“(God) desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.” I Tim. 2:4) This doesn’t mean we’re denying the fact that someone sinned, but it does mean that we’re not holding it against the other person. “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13

The author of said e-mail chooses to continually talk about all the ways people have cheated or hurt him in the past. He blames everyone in his life for all of his problems. He is also one of the most angry and bitter people I know. In the past, I have tried to explain that I choose to walk in forgiveness toward those who have harmed me, but he calls it “denial.”

I choose to believe what God says about how we should respond to people:

“Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.” Matthew 5:44

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” Philippians 4:8

Loving our enemies and choosing to build each other up don’t come naturally. That’s why we must depend on the supernatural to gird us. If the Spirit of God dwells in us, He will give us God’s supernatural ability to forgive those who have sinned against us. I pray that God will help me choose to forgive, even those who continue to verbally attack me and my family. God knows that I can’t do it without His help.

“Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”