Tough Love

We’ve all heard jokes about the outcome of praying for patience…it seems that we are apt to learn the hard way if we do. Consequently, it probably shouldn’t have come as surprise that as soon as I wrote a blog about not judging people (June 7), my philosophy would be put to the test.

The Apostle Paul, my favorite writer, has a handle on grace. I have learned most of what I know about extending grace to others from him. Imagine my surprise when I recently heard a sermon referencing I Corinthians 5, where Paul said, “It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning.” (verse 12) You might want to take the time to read the entire chapter…especially verses 9-13.

What? Did Paul say that it’s our responsibility to judge those inside the church? It’s pretty straight forward, but what a difficult passage to process. I truly don’t want to judge anyone. And confronting people certainly takes me out of my comfort zone, but why does God’s Word tell us that it’s our responsibility?

I have thought long and hard about this for the past two weeks. We had a situation where we believed it was our obligation to confront someone who was choosing a sinful lifestyle. How do you convince someone that you have their best interest at heart, when you’re basically condemning what they’re doing? This particular confrontation was bathed in prayer, but was not received well. The person in question felt judged and rejected. This was not the response we were hoping for.

Most of us are familiar with the term “tough love.” It’s when you love a person enough to tell them they are wrong. You are willing to momentarily sacrifice that person’s approval because ultimately, you want them to live life free from the bondage of sin. You speak truth into their lives because Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

If only the person who feels judged could understand that our desire is to rescue them from an unhealthy situation, so that they can be set free to experience all that God has for them. “God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in His holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:10-11

We continue to pray about our current situation, specifically for the individual in question, that “the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7