Unintentionally Self-absorbed

Here we are, one year into retirement, and I still feel like I've had "the rug pulled out from under me." Going from being actively involved in dozens of activities to sitting on the couch contemplating what life is all about has spiraled into a full-blown battle with depression. Adjusting to life in an unfamiliar place has brought about an intense loneliness and paradoxically, the tendency to withdraw and become more introspective. I'm beginning to realize that this results in being myopic in relationship to the needs of others...unintentionally self-absorbed.

We recently heard Louie Giglio speak. We've been inspired by his videos for years, but had never heard him share about his battle with depression. One thing he shared that spoke directly to my heart was his fear that if he recovered from his depression, he would somehow be a "dialed-down version" of the man he used to be. That was it! I have been feeling like retirement is forcing me to be a dialed-down version of who I was. Louie's next words were powerful. We aren't called to be a 100% version of ourselves, but 100% Christ-like - totally dependent on Him, resting in His finished work.

Louie shared that one of our most powerful weapons in the midst of depression is praise. "Praise the Lord! Praise, O servants of the Lord, Praise the name of the Lord! He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap." (Psalm 113:1 and 7) But remember that praising God in the midst of depression has to be intentional. I have also been learning to be intentional about looking for opportunities to minister to others who are lonely and hurting. "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others." (Philippians 2:3-4)

So many people attending Louie's event admitted to struggling with depression and even having suicidal thoughts when he asked for a show of hands. My prayer is that you will be encouraged, no matter what you're going through, remembering that God's "got your back." Please join me in being intentional to praise God and reach out to others who are hurting. "For You have rescued me from death; You have kept my feet from slipping. So now I can walk in Your presence, O God, in Your life-giving light." (Psalm 56:13)