Desolation

My recent involvement with GriefShare has prompted me to contemplate loneliness. My heart goes out to the widows in our group who experience loneliness on a daily basis. Several of them have recently lost their husbands. Last night, one of them mentioned that whenever she goes somewhere, she doesn’t want to return home because going back to an empty house is almost more than she can bear.

If you look up loneliness in your Bible, you might be surprised that there aren’t very many verses that refer to loneliness. The word more often used is “desolation.” One definition of desolation is the “deprivation of companionship.” That is an accurate description of loneliness, isn’t it? Sadly, many people experience a deprivation of companionship even if they are constantly with other people. I can’t count the number of married women I know who experience extreme loneliness in spite of their marital status. Desolation.

“You’ve got one friend? You are lucky!

You’ve got two friends? You are blessed!

You’ve got no friends? It probably means you’re in the ministry!” quipped a Christian comedian. 

The audience laughed at her comments, but she went on to say that she wasn’t kidding. I don’t share this anecdote to evoke pity for me (as a pastor’s wife), but to point out that loneliness affects people from all walks of life. I think that when you’re in a position of leadership, people have a tendency to hold you at arm’s length, perhaps because they think that you will judge them. This adds yet another faction to the Lonely Hearts Club roster.

Psalm 77 reminds us that our feelings of desolation are nothing new: “I cry out to God; yes, I shout. Oh, that God would listen to me! When I was in deep trouble, I searched for the Lord. All night long I prayed, with hands lifted toward heaven, but my soul was not comforted. I think of God, and I moan, overwhelmed with longing for His help...Has the Lord rejected me forever? Will He never again be kind to me?” (Ps. 77:1-3 and 7)

Asaph continues to lament God’s alleged ill treatment of him until verses 11 and 12, “But then I recall all You have done, O Lord; I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago. They are constantly in my thoughts. I cannot stop thinking about your mighty works.” He goes on to talk about the “great wonders” and “awesome power” of God. (vs. 14)

Jesus experienced times of intense loneliness. “Behold, an hour is coming, and has already come, for you to be scattered, each to his own home, and to leave Me alone...” However, Jesus knew that in spite of His feelings of desolation, He was not alone – “…and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me.” (John 16:32)

What a comfort to know that God is always with us, especially when our feelings try to convince us otherwise. “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me.” (Psalm 23:4) I encourage you to seek God in your times of loneliness. Take heart because just as He restored Job, “God will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.” (Job 8:21)