Haters Gonna Hate

I recently posted some verses on Facebook and appreciated the encouraging comments from kindhearted family and friends. My post was in response to a hateful e-mail from someone – I was hoping that the verses might help others dealing with “difficult” people, but in the end, I had “Facebook regret” and felt like I had said too much.

“Stay away from (anyone) who is unloving and unforgiving; (who) slanders others and has no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good.” (II Timothy 3:3) I have been trying to wrap my head around how to “stay away from” someone while at the same time walking in love and forgiveness towards them. Reading Matthew 5:44-46 from The Message sheds some light on the subject: “Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer.”

Because my situation involves a family member, I was drawn to the story of David and Absalom. Imagine having to hide from your own son because he is trying to kill you. But, in spite of this evil plot against him, David continued to love Absalom. His prayers for restoration of the relationship were never answered, but his deep love for his son was evident in his devastation upon hearing of Absalom’s death. (II Samuel 18:33) For me, the challenge lies in continuing to love even if the relationship is never restored.

Psalm 3 was written when David was trying to escape Absalom’s advances. David responded with the “energies of prayer.”

O Lord, I have so many enemies; so many are against me.

So many are saying “God will never rescue him!”

But You O Lord, are a shield around me; You are my glory,

The One who holds my head high.

Victory comes from You, O Lord.

May You bless Your people. (vs. 1-3; 8)

There are times when we find truth in unlikely places. I don’t listen to much pop music, but Taylor Swift’s song “Shake It Off” helps add some levity to my current situation, as I seek God’s help in responding to “haters.”

“And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate

Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

I shake it off, I shake it off!”

With God’s help, I can “shake it off” and love my enemies. “You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.” Matthew 5:48 MSG

God's Unexpected Surprises

"Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4) I have always tried to be careful not to interpret this verse as if God is going to give us everything we want. I think it means that when we delight in Him, His desires become our desires.

This blog was inspired by a family of deer that has taken up residence in our salmonberry patch. It catches me by surprise every time I see them grazing on the grassy knoll just outside our front door. One day the realization hit me. When I was growing up, we went to the Smoky Mountains every summer. When we would spot a deer grazing in a field, my dad would park the car so we could watch it. Perhaps it was because we lived in the city, where we seldom saw any wildlife, but my entire family seemed mesmerized by these beautiful creatures.

I find it so incredible that decades later, God would bless me with an entire family of Sitka Deer living in my backyard. Coming out to graze at my front door. I am humbled by the realization that God gives the desires of our heart, even when we don't think to ask.

This past week God has given me so many unexpected gifts: The generous gift of sky miles that enabled me to be part of celebrating a dear friend's well-lived life. The blessing of time spent with my precious daughter and her husband. Being in South Florida just in time to celebrate another good friend's 60th birthday. Seeing quite a few "old" friends in spite of the brevity of my trip. And then, on my way home, what could have been a frustrating 52-hour layover because of a winter storm, brought the added surprise of seeing a friend who "just happened" to be visiting Anchorage at the same time.

If we truly believe that God ordains our steps (Psalm 37:23), then surely nothing that we view as an inconvenience or roadblock catches Him by surprise. A wise friend used to say that every moment is in God's plan...every breath we take, every place we go, every person we meet. And it seems even more evident when it happens unexpectedly, don't you think? I love it when God surprises us! "Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him and He will do it." (Psalm 37:5)

Warm Memories

We’re all familiar with the phrase “my life flashed before my eyes” when someone is faced with a life or death situation. We’ve seen it played out in movie scenes or perhaps have even experienced it in real life.

Two days ago, I had a similar epiphany when I received the sad news that a dear friend was not expected to live. It wasn’t my life that flashed before my eyes, but memories. Memories of time spent with this friend throughout our 40+ year history…recollections of so many memorable moments.

When you move to Alaska, everyone talks about coming to visit you. Who doesn’t want to take a vacation to Alaska? People mean well, but alas, when they check the airline ticket prices, they realize that it might not be in the budget.

We moved to Kodiak, Alaska in June of 2007. I heard from Susan a few months after we arrived and she said that she wanted to come and visit me in the wintertime. I argued that she should come in the summertime, when flowers are blooming, the wildlife is active, and the hiking superb. And of course there’s the obvious fact that it’s much warmer! (Warm is a relative term.)

Her response almost made me cry. She told me that she wanted to come when it was the darkest and the coldest because that was when I would be the loneliest. Even now, I can’t think of it without tearing up. She thought of my plight before I even anticipated it. What an amazingly unselfish act of love that truly exemplified empathy for a friend.

And so she came. In the dead of winter. Mid-February in Alaska, when most residents are clamoring to find a way to travel to a warmer climate. And in spite of the cold, we had a wonderful time…driving to all of my favorite spots on snow-covered roads and even hiking on icy trails. It is my fondest memory from our first winter here. I don’t really remember the darkness or freezing temperatures, but I will always cherish the brilliance and warmth of a visit from a true friend.

And so, knowing that the dreaded phone call informing me that my friend has passed is eminent, I choose to keep the many fond memories of our times together at the forefront of my thoughts. It’s comforting to know that we will spend eternity with each other. I see us exploring the wonders of heaven together and it’s difficult to fathom that Alaska is but a sliver of the majestic beauty we will experience there.

Desolation

My recent involvement with GriefShare has prompted me to contemplate loneliness. My heart goes out to the widows in our group who experience loneliness on a daily basis. Several of them have recently lost their husbands. Last night, one of them mentioned that whenever she goes somewhere, she doesn’t want to return home because going back to an empty house is almost more than she can bear.

If you look up loneliness in your Bible, you might be surprised that there aren’t very many verses that refer to loneliness. The word more often used is “desolation.” One definition of desolation is the “deprivation of companionship.” That is an accurate description of loneliness, isn’t it? Sadly, many people experience a deprivation of companionship even if they are constantly with other people. I can’t count the number of married women I know who experience extreme loneliness in spite of their marital status. Desolation.

“You’ve got one friend? You are lucky!

You’ve got two friends? You are blessed!

You’ve got no friends? It probably means you’re in the ministry!” quipped a Christian comedian. 

The audience laughed at her comments, but she went on to say that she wasn’t kidding. I don’t share this anecdote to evoke pity for me (as a pastor’s wife), but to point out that loneliness affects people from all walks of life. I think that when you’re in a position of leadership, people have a tendency to hold you at arm’s length, perhaps because they think that you will judge them. This adds yet another faction to the Lonely Hearts Club roster.

Psalm 77 reminds us that our feelings of desolation are nothing new: “I cry out to God; yes, I shout. Oh, that God would listen to me! When I was in deep trouble, I searched for the Lord. All night long I prayed, with hands lifted toward heaven, but my soul was not comforted. I think of God, and I moan, overwhelmed with longing for His help...Has the Lord rejected me forever? Will He never again be kind to me?” (Ps. 77:1-3 and 7)

Asaph continues to lament God’s alleged ill treatment of him until verses 11 and 12, “But then I recall all You have done, O Lord; I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago. They are constantly in my thoughts. I cannot stop thinking about your mighty works.” He goes on to talk about the “great wonders” and “awesome power” of God. (vs. 14)

Jesus experienced times of intense loneliness. “Behold, an hour is coming, and has already come, for you to be scattered, each to his own home, and to leave Me alone...” However, Jesus knew that in spite of His feelings of desolation, He was not alone – “…and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me.” (John 16:32)

What a comfort to know that God is always with us, especially when our feelings try to convince us otherwise. “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me.” (Psalm 23:4) I encourage you to seek God in your times of loneliness. Take heart because just as He restored Job, “God will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.” (Job 8:21)

Keeping it Simple

2016 has been a complicated year for me. Spur-of-the-moment decisions, unexpected adversity, grieving the loss of breached relationships…circumstances that often felt like more than I could bear. But in the midst of our trials, God encourages us to “cast all (our) anxiety of Him because He cares for (us).” I Peter 5:7

I recently helped an elderly gentleman in our church prepare to move. A gentle soul…some might call him simple-minded, but I think of it as more of an endearing childlikeness. Consider that Christ told His disciples that the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who become like little children (Matthew 19:14).  I love this man’s childlike innocence and the way he accepts what you say at face value. It’s so refreshing.

And I realize how much I long for life to be simple. To “make it (my) ambition to lead a quiet life and attend to (my) own business and work with (my) hands.” I Thessalonians 4:11 To not focus on the external but to “let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.” I Peter 3:4 “Precious in the sight of God” – at the moment, I can’t think of a more comforting thought.

But what do we do when life gets complicated? How do we keep things in perspective? Following Paul’s instructions to the Romans concerning being transformed by the renewing of our minds, he says not to think more highly of yourself than you ought to think. (Romans 12:2-3) And he elaborates on that idea in his letter to the Philippians: “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves.” Phil. 2:3

Paul continues by saying that Christ is the epitome of humility: “Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men…He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” Philippians 2:5-8

I can’t help but think that there’s a connection between humility and simplicity. Obviously, if we are of humble means, we probably live a simple life. But I’m thinking more about matters of the heart. The childlikeness that I find so endearing in our elderly friend makes me wonder if embracing humility might be the key to living simply.  

And so in my quest to keep it simple, I pray that God will teach me humility. For “the reward of humility and the fear of the Lord are riches, honor and life.” Proverbs 22:4 Hopefully a simple life.

From Mourning into Joy

After attended several sessions of a GriefShare group, it became evident that grieving is anything but simple. It’s definitely not cut and dried: one, two, three, and you’re over your grief. I didn’t realize just how complicated it would be until I started working through it.

I know that I grieved throughout my mother’s battle with Alzheimer’s Disease. With Dementia and other memory disorders, you grieve the loss of the person that you once knew. When your loved one suffers from any terminal illness, there is a slow and painful grieving process as you watch them deteriorate.

What can make it more challenging, is that many times the person suffering from memory loss doesn’t realize that something is wrong and they resent the fact that someone is trying to help them do simple, everyday things. This anger and resentment is usually directed toward the primary caregiver. So, if you happen to be the caregiver and a family member, not only are you grieving the loss of your loved one’s intellect and personality, but you have to bear the brunt of their frustration because of the memory loss. This brings yet another level of sadness to the grieving process.

And to complicate matters even more, I’ve discovered that once you start peeling back the surface layer of your grief, it exposes the many layers underneath. The loss of a precious grandchild. The severing of an important relationship. The terminal illness of a close friend. Life is full of sadness and many times we grieve for losses other than death.

In my case, when I was still struggling two years after my mother’s death, I thought perhaps I hadn’t grieved properly. However, after completing the GriefShare program, I realized that there was a reason why my grief seemed unresolved. I was blindsided when a family member stirred up trouble, which ultimately caused a breach in one of the most meaningful relationships of my life. Grieving my mother’s death was eclipsed by this persistent grief that appears to have no end in sight. Consequently, the situation often seems hopeless and I have a difficult time “letting go.” But I know that God promises to be “our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1

And so I seek God’s help as I continue on this “journey from mourning into joy.” With the Psalmist, I pray, “O God, listen to my cry!  Hear my prayer! From the ends of the earth, I cry to You for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety.” Psalm 61:1-2 

Forever Friends

This blog is dedicated to my dear friend, Susan Johnson Price.

Family is forever. Even when you're at odds with each other, there's no denying your roots, whether they are by blood or adoption. I have been blessed with a wonderful family: a loving husband, amazing children, stepchildren, and in-laws, as well as extended family members who mean the world to me. I grew up with only one sibling, and sadly, our relationship has been a bit unstable since the death of our mother. I have missed our previously frequent conversations and the intricately woven connection that most of us share with those who know us best.

The point of mentioning this is not to evoke sympathy, but to pay tribute to those outside our immediate families who become like brothers and sisters to us - forever friends. I was blessed to spend nine days with one such person and I'm writing this to let her know how much I appreciate the time spent with her.

Now in my seventieth decade, I have many cherished friends that I've known for 40+ years. I would never minimize those precious relationships, but spending time with a childhood friend made me realize how significant it is to reconnect with someone who has known you since you were young... perhaps even your entire life.

Susan, please accept my apology for talking too much during your recent visit, but it was like we were trying to catch up on the decades that we've been apart. I am very grateful for your listening ear and appreciate you sharing your heart with me. Your friendship is indeed a treasure.

Gary and I are so glad that you and Chuck included us in your Alaska travel plans and we can't thank you enough for your thoughtfulness and generosity to us! We thoroughly enjoyed our time together and will remember it for years to come! You are welcome back anytime!

A Sigh of Relief

Have you ever been so burdened by something that your heart literally feels heavy? A time when you felt like you were carrying the proverbial “weight of the world on your shoulders”? Do you often feel overwhelmed by life’s circumstances?

Note that each of these scenarios involves how we “feel.” Feelings can cloud the truth, if we’re not careful. We have to make a conscious effort to focus on what is true and real: “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” (Phil. 4:8)

The reality is that God has promised to carry our burdens for us. He desires to give us rest: “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

I recently quoted those verses in another blog about resting. It seems that I needed to write a sequel, as I’m still contemplating the key to finding true rest. Surely God understands our frailty, as our heart cries out with the Psalmist: “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish.” (Psalm 25:16-17)

It is His rest that we seek. “For the one who has entered HIS REST has himself also rested from his works, as God did from His. Therefore let us be diligent to enter that rest, so that no will fall, through following the same example of disobedience.” Hebrews 4:10-11 True rest is found by trusting in the finished work of Christ…resting from our “works.” This rest is not dependent on our feelings, but on the truth of The Gospel:

“God saved you by His grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.” Ephesians 2:8-9

And verse 10 takes it a step further: “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.”

Perhaps I am a step closer to understanding the rest God intends for us. HIS REST doesn’t come from striving, but from trusting that He will bring about His purpose in our lives as we rest in Him. I don’t know about you, but that causes me to breathe a sigh of relief.

"Perfectly Calm"

On Sunday mornings, we’ve been doing a Bible Study on resting. And it has occurred to me that I don’t really know what that looks like…I tend to think that I need to be in a constant state of accomplishment. So, when I happen to have a free morning, I’m contemplating rest, and what it means. I’ve said it before, but is it an oxymoron if you struggle to rest?

God tells us to “be still, and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10) Be still…“quiet, hushed, noiseless, silent (the absence of noise and or excitement or activity accompanied by sound).” (dictionary.com) How often do we find a quiet place to be still and listen for God’s voice? So many distractions, so much to do, so little time? So many excuses!

If Jesus calmed the wind and the stormy sea, surely he can calm the chaos in our lives. I long for life to be “perfectly calm.” “And He got up and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, ‘Hush, be still.’ And the wind died down and it became perfectly calm.” Mark 4:39 NAS

I tend to get overwhelmed when things get complicated. And the past few months have been oh so complicated. But I know in my heart that this “perfect calm” the Bible talks about is in spite of our circumstances. We are meant to be in a constant state of resting in Him. But, how do we accomplish this? Again, our attempts at resting might look like striving, which seems counterproductive.

We tend to associate Psalm 23 with funerals, but what if we apply it to our everyday lives:

He makes me lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside quiet waters.

He restores my soul.

I love the thought of God restoring my soul…"to bring back to a state of health, soundness, or vigor." (dictionary.com) The rest that God gives us is invigorating! Think about waking up after a perfect night’s sleep. You have the energy to face whatever may come your way! That’s the kind of rest our soul needs. The kind of rest that only God can give.

And so, as I continue to deliberate rest and all that it entails, I pray that you and I will find true rest for our souls.  “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29 

Tough Love

We’ve all heard jokes about the outcome of praying for patience…it seems that we are apt to learn the hard way if we do. Consequently, it probably shouldn’t have come as surprise that as soon as I wrote a blog about not judging people (June 7), my philosophy would be put to the test.

The Apostle Paul, my favorite writer, has a handle on grace. I have learned most of what I know about extending grace to others from him. Imagine my surprise when I recently heard a sermon referencing I Corinthians 5, where Paul said, “It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning.” (verse 12) You might want to take the time to read the entire chapter…especially verses 9-13.

What? Did Paul say that it’s our responsibility to judge those inside the church? It’s pretty straight forward, but what a difficult passage to process. I truly don’t want to judge anyone. And confronting people certainly takes me out of my comfort zone, but why does God’s Word tell us that it’s our responsibility?

I have thought long and hard about this for the past two weeks. We had a situation where we believed it was our obligation to confront someone who was choosing a sinful lifestyle. How do you convince someone that you have their best interest at heart, when you’re basically condemning what they’re doing? This particular confrontation was bathed in prayer, but was not received well. The person in question felt judged and rejected. This was not the response we were hoping for.

Most of us are familiar with the term “tough love.” It’s when you love a person enough to tell them they are wrong. You are willing to momentarily sacrifice that person’s approval because ultimately, you want them to live life free from the bondage of sin. You speak truth into their lives because Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

If only the person who feels judged could understand that our desire is to rescue them from an unhealthy situation, so that they can be set free to experience all that God has for them. “God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in His holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:10-11

We continue to pray about our current situation, specifically for the individual in question, that “the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

Butterflies and Rainbows

Sharing deep thoughts with a passionate young woman who is more like family than friend. Listening to her heart as she expresses the need for Christians to be real makes me wonder if we have our own brand of political correctness? With the advent of social media, suddenly everyone’s life is an open book…but are we really brave enough to be totally honest? I think that we have a tendency to want to look good when we know the world is watching. But, our sweet friend expressed it well, “Life is not all butterflies and rainbows.”

If we are trying to impress others by acting like we don’t have any problems, how will we ever minister to those who are struggling? Perhaps if we would allow ourselves to be transparent, those who are hurting would be drawn to our vulnerability. Admitting our failures and shortcomings reveals our need for a Savior. And isn’t that our ultimate goal: To share with others the Good News that “God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.” John 3:17

In the midst of this conversation, we watched a YouTube video with Bono and Eugene Peterson discussing the Psalms. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-l40S5e90KY) They beautifully articulated the need for Christians to be open regarding the difficulties and challenges in their lives. Bono said that the Psalmist was “brutally honest” about his struggles, which is why most of us can relate to the Psalms when we feel downtrodden and discouraged.

“Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise Him again – my Savior and my God.” Psalm 42:11 NLT

I loved hearing Bono quote Psalm 40:1-3 from The Message by Eugene Peterson:

“I waited and waited and waited for God. At last He looked; finally He listened. He lifted me out of the ditch, pulled me from deep mud. He stood me up on a solid rock to make sure I wouldn’t slip. He taught me how to sing the latest God-song, a praise-song to our God.”

We identify with the Psalmist as he expresses his sorrow, but I love the fact that in spite of everything, he always concludes that God is the victor over all of his adversities! This is indeed the message that we should be sharing with the world around us.

“O Lord, I have so many enemies; so many are against me. So many are saying, ‘God will never rescue him!’ But You, O Lord, are a shield around me; You are my glory, the one who holds my head high.” Psalm 3:1-3 NLT

Judging the Judgmental

I have often said that the hardest people not to judge are those who are judgmental. Generally speaking, we have a tendency to judge people who don’t agree with us. So, if I think it’s wrong for someone to judge others, I just might be guilty of judging them because they are judgmental. It sounds like a play on words, but it’s true.

Think about a time when someone talked about you in a slanderous way. (Slander: a malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report.) I think that it’s important for us to forgive that individual, or we will be tempted to speak ill of them, hence, judging them. “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:31-32

The Bible clearly states that we should respond with patience and love: “Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.” Ephesians 4:2-3

There’s always a chance that the person speaking falsehoods against you won’t be interested in reconciliation. However, I think it’s worth it to attempt to restore the relationship, if possible. “Encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing. Live in peace with one another. Admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone. See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people.” I Thessalonians 5:11; 14-15

If the proverbial olive branch is rejected, we can be assured that it’s still God’s will that we pray for the person in question (Matthew 5:44). Perhaps God will remind us that until a person takes their final breath, there’s always a chance for repentance. I know firsthand that God can use every seemingly hurtful situation to teach me the reality of walking in forgiveness. My prayer is that each of us will learn to leave the outcome of our conflict to the consummate judge:

“…Christ is your example, and you must follow in His steps. He never sinned nor ever deceived anyone. He did not retaliate when He was insulted, nor threaten revenge when He suffered. He left His case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly.” I Peter 2:21-23

The Only Opinion That Matters

I’ve been the target of some criticism recently. I’m the first to admit that I’m not perfect and it's my prayer that the Holy Spirit will convict me and I will make amends when I am at fault. It’s hard to come to grips with the fact that some people don’t really need a reason to criticize others. They are disgruntled with life in general and you can’t take it personally when they treat you with contempt.

Have you ever been the victim of false accusations? It’s very frustrating when people pass judgment concerning something without finding out whether it’s true or not. One thing that baffles me about myself is the fact that I allow someone’s bad opinion of me to cloud what I know to be true. Why would we believe something about ourselves that we know is not true? We forget that our enemy is clever and knows all about our insecurities. “Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” I Peter 5:8

It’s imperative that we saturate our minds with God’s opinion of us! We are His children: “But to all who believed in (Jesus) and accepted Him, He gave the right to become children of God.” (John 1:12) He loves us more than we can imagine: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness.” (Jeremiah 31:3) David asked God to “keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings.” (Psalm 17:8).

The thought of God “hiding” us is quite comforting:

“You hide them in the shelter of your presence, safe from those who conspire against them. You shelter them in Your presence, far from accusing tongues.” Psalm 31:20

“For in the day of trouble He will keep me safe in His dwelling; He will hide me in the shelter of His sacred tent and set me high upon a rock.” Psalm 27:5

I have been reading the Psalms on a regular basis and find that they minister to me when I’m facing adversity. Whatever you are facing right now, I hope that God will assure you that His opinion of you never changes…"His faithful love endures forever." (Psalm 106:1)

“But I will give repeated thanks to the Lord, praising Him to everyone. For He stands beside the needy, ready to save them from those who condemn them.” (Psalm 109:30-31)

“Battle for Joy”

I’m making my shopping list. I just added “Joy” to my list. Dishwashing liquid that is. Wishing it was that simple to find joy in the midst of trouble. James said, “When troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.” (James 1:2) Perhaps remembering that truth when things were rough came easily to James, or maybe he had just been through enough bad times to learn it the hard way.

Ann Voskamp wrote about joy in a blog I read a while back. She said, “Battle for joy or lose your life.” That seems a bit melodramatic, but it’s true. When we allow circumstances to steal our joy, we feel lifeless and defeated. It is a battle. But how do we fight it?

I think that anytime we are faced with adversity, we must look to God’s Word for answers. My sincere prayer in the conflict I’m currently facing is for the issues to be resolved. But in the meantime, I have been miserable. I’m realizing how much I allow difficult circumstances to steal my joy. I’m looking for answers.

God’s Word tells me that I am victorious! “Does it mean that He no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.” (Romans 8:35&37)

God’s Word tells me that He will never leave me!  “For He (God) Himself has said, ‘I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. (I will) not, (I will) not, (I will) not in any degree leave you helpless, nor forsake nor let (you) down (relax My hold on you). Assuredly not!’” (Hebrews 13:5) I love this verse in the Amplified Bible! It doesn’t leave any room for doubt!

Most importantly, I think we must be mindful of the fact that most adversity is from the enemy. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10) I think it’s especially difficult to remember this when our conflict is with other Christians.

We don’t want to believe that Satan can use other believers to wreak havoc in our lives. However, I think we need to be even more aware of Satan’s tactics when it comes to our brothers and sisters in Christ. Satan wants nothing more than to destroy the witness of God's power at work in our lives. If Satan can put us at enmity with one another, then the world might never see God’s love in action. “No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and His love is brought to full expression in us.” (I John 4:12)

Jesus said, “Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” (John 13:34-35) And so, I choose love. And I choose joy. Believing that “when troubles come (my) way, (I should) consider it an opportunity for great joy.” 

(Note: Immediately after writing this blog, I went to Walmart and had to laugh at the large display of "Joy." I like that I will have a constant reminder at the kitchen sink.)

A Burden Lifted

This blog is dedicated to my daughters, who both encourage me on a regular basis.

I would encourage you to read I Samuel 1:1-20. It’s the story of how God eventually answers Hannah’s prayers for a son. The passage tells us that she was “very discouraged” and “downhearted” because God hadn’t answered her prayers. She “was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord.”

Most of us have experienced being discouraged and downhearted. We can relate to Hannah’s response to her seemingly unanswered prayers. Sometimes it’s challenging to wait for God to answer the cry of our heart.

What I found amazing as I reread this passage was Hannah’s response to Eli’s words in verse 17. He merely says, “Go in peace! May the God of Israel grant the request you have asked of Him.” And “then Hannah went back and began to eat again, and she was no longer sad.” (vs. 18)

God still hadn’t answered her prayers, but Eli’s words of encouragement and reminder of God’s faithfulness lifted her burden. She was no longer sad. She had hope again.

Think about it. Eli didn’t answer Hannah with an eloquent speech or applicable scripture. He just told her to go in peace and wait for God to answer. How simple is that? I hope that God will bring this to mind the next time I meet someone who is discouraged and downhearted! To simply and sincerely say, “Go in peace! May God answer your prayers.” A little bit of encouragement certainly can go a long way!

“Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.” Colossians 4:6

Grounded

Yesterday, my husband and I drove to the top of Pillar Mountain – a trip we’ve made dozens of times. This time, however, we decided to drive on a new section of dirt road that was built when they were installing wind turbines a few years ago. We always go on the original road because it has a great view of town and the surrounding islands, but we decided to be adventurous.

It was a beautiful day and it was cool to see the view from a different vantage point. This morning as I was posting a photo from that trip up the mountain, I realized that I need a different vantage point in my life…a new perspective on things.

The past few months have been some of the most stressful of my life and I haven’t coped very well. I have allowed circumstances to dictate my emotional well-being and I don’t want to allow outside influences to have such a profound effect on me. I want to be rooted and grounded in God’s love and in His opinions of me. (“See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are!” I John 3:1)  

To be grounded is “to place on a foundation; fix firmly; settle or establish.” Grounded is a verb that needs an object…in this case, God. I want to be fixed firmly and established in God’s love. His Word says that we should let our roots "grow down into God's love and keep you strong.” (Ephesians 3:17)

And so, my prayer is that I would be able to discern what I need to learn in the midst of stressful situations and grow from my adversities. Always mindful that God’s strength is made perfect in my weakness: "‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.” (II Corinthians 12:9) 

Imagine the stability that comes from being grounded in His power and love.

Empty Arms – A Mother’s Day Tribute

This will be my second Mother’s Day without my mom. Separation from those we love is difficult, even if we know it’s only temporary. And certain holidays in particular seem to conjure up a flood of memories. At this moment in time, however, my heart aches for a different reason.

I am grieving for the mothers who never had the joy of holding their child; or perhaps only had a brief time with their precious little one. This blog is to remind those mothers that they are not forgotten. Society may not always acknowledge you on this day of celebrating motherhood, but God has not forgotten your sorrow and loss. He knows how your empty arms ache. His Word tells us that He “keeps track of all my sorrows. He has collected all my tears in His bottle. He has recorded each one in His book." (Psalm 56:8)

Imagine. Not one tear has gone unnoticed by God.

And so, on this Mother’s Day, I pray that God’s tender lovingkindness will comfort your heart. And may those of us who have been blessed to see our children grow into adulthood be compassionate to those who had to relinquish that privilege prematurely. For “the Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” (Psalm 34:18 NLT)

Relinquishing Control

One of my favorite quotes is "God has everything under control." (David Wilkerson) The past few months have been extremely stressful, with circumstances seeming to spin out of control...my control that is. I have been asking God what it is I'm supposed to learn from these challenges, hoping for an answer that will expedite the process, if you know what I mean!

The answer appears to be that I need to relinquish control. It's not like I can control the IRS, a remodel from 3,500 miles away, or someone who's behaving irrationally (just to name a few sources of my stress). But perhaps I've been trying to do just that: To control things that are totally out of my control.

                     

God is so much bigger than any circumstance that we might find ourselves in. He is not bound by time or location...for that matter, He doesn't have any limitations. He is all-knowing, all-powerful, and He loves us with an everlasting love. You would think that trusting Him with our difficult circumstances would be our first response.

Perhaps some of us are slow learners...obviously I am. But thankfully, God is patient and kind. He is always trustworthy. Lord, please help me to relinquish control and remember that You truly do have the entire universe under control. You are my "refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore I will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging." (Psalm 46:1-3)

Dormancy

I recently heard someone say, “by their fruits you shall know them.” (Matthew 7:20) I couldn’t help but agree regarding the person in question, but I started thinking about how we might misjudge someone who’s hurting or has been wounded by others. We’ve all had bad days and I know that I would rather not be judged by my behavior when I’m at my worst. What if the waitress who seemed a bit rude when you changed your order is about to lose her kids because she can’t pay the bills? Or what if the guy who cut you off in traffic was distracted because his wife just got a bad report from the doctor? I’m not making excuses for rudeness or reckless driving, I’m just saying, “Why are we so quick to judge?”

In February, I was driving on a scenic highway through the foothills of Tennessee and started thinking about dormant trees. When a tree loses its leaves, it appears dead, doesn’t it? Guess what? The roots of a dormant tree still grow and take in water and nutrients. So, what if we apply that principle to people? I think I would like to make an effort to look beyond a person’s bad behavior and think of them in a dormant state. Perhaps they need time to heal from a wound or work through an issue. What if, instead of judging, we encouraged them or asked if we could help in some way? That might be just the boost that person needs to get back on track.

Spring is right around the corner. When you see a tree beginning to bud, remember someone who’s hurting and see what you can do to provide some nourishment for them. Perhaps God will use you to help them begin to bloom again.

“In the past you have encouraged many people; you have strengthened those who were weak. Your words have supported those who were falling; you encouraged those with shaky knees." Job 4:3-4

Growing in Faith

There are certain phases of life that are more difficult than others. One of those phases is affecting several of my friends at the moment: Adult children who seem to have wandered away from their faith in God. This brings about a pivotal moment in a parent’s life, when we realize that our convincing arguments must become fervent prayers. “For our stuggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:12 (This chapter goes on to tell us that we must pray at all times.)

As Christians, we all want our children to have a deeply-rooted relationship with God, but we don’t want them to have to experience pain in the process. I totally relate to this, as I am as protective as any mother, but how realistic is it, really? Don’t we all have to come to the end of ourselves before we truly learn to trust God? In my own life, it was my failure and inability to “be perfect” that brought me to the realization that I was in desperate need of a Savior. If we live under the delusion that we are somehow good enough to please God, we are deceiving ourselves. (“If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.” I John 1:10)

I realize that these truths may not make it any easier to cope with the fact that your child is making bad choices. But we must be absolutely convinced that God loves our children even more than we do. He wants to have a relationship with them. We must saturate our minds with the promises of His faithfulness. This is our only hope for peace in the midst of our circumstances. “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

Some of us might lay claim to Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.” But what if we feel like we made too many mistakes as a parent and we are somehow responsible for our child’s deviation from the “straight and narrow”? Once again, we must remind ourselves that God is bigger than our failures. (And our children’s failures as well.) Many years ago, I heard James Dobson say, “There is no such thing as a perfect parent. For that matter, Adam and Eve had the perfect parent and look what happened to them!” (This is paraphrased, since it was over 30 years ago when I heard it.) Perhaps that helps you breathe a sigh of relief?

Ironically, I think that spending time trying to figure out what we did wrong, sometimes keeps us from doing what is right at the moment. We need to stop looking back at our past mistakes and start looking upward to a God who is powerful and trustworthy. Trust Him with your child and wait patiently for the miraculous changes that He wants to bring about in their life! He wants to grow their faith, just as He’s growing yours.

^“They (the righteous) will have no fear of bad news;
Their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear;
In the end they will look in triumph on their foes.” Psalm 112:7-8

“Denial” or Forgiveness?

I just received a scathing e-mail from someone (not the first bitter diatribe from this person), lamblasting my family and saying that we are all in “denial.” I think that he’s confusing denial with walking in forgiveness. If we choose to walk in forgiveness, we are able to move forward knowing that God loves all men with the same passion and sent His Son as a sacrifice for each of us. (“(God) desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.” I Tim. 2:4) This doesn’t mean we’re denying the fact that someone sinned, but it does mean that we’re not holding it against the other person. “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13

The author of said e-mail chooses to continually talk about all the ways people have cheated or hurt him in the past. He blames everyone in his life for all of his problems. He is also one of the most angry and bitter people I know. In the past, I have tried to explain that I choose to walk in forgiveness toward those who have harmed me, but he calls it “denial.”

I choose to believe what God says about how we should respond to people:

“Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.” Matthew 5:44

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” Philippians 4:8

Loving our enemies and choosing to build each other up don’t come naturally. That’s why we must depend on the supernatural to gird us. If the Spirit of God dwells in us, He will give us God’s supernatural ability to forgive those who have sinned against us. I pray that God will help me choose to forgive, even those who continue to verbally attack me and my family. God knows that I can’t do it without His help.

“Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”